We’d whisper in their ears that they were not alone, that it was okay to be scared, and that we wouldn't leave them
A nurse shares the struggles and triumphs of caring for COVID-19 patients at one of the nation’s top cancer hospitals
I’m sharing this story because I want everyone out there who is terrified of this virus, and those on the frontlines, to know that this is a shared pain. This is a shared experience, and a shared victory after defeating this heinous invisible enemy.
This war is ongoing. Every single battle we win is monumental and deserves to be shared so that hope stands strong, faith unwavering, and victory assured.
I’m a new nurse from Texas, living in New York alone and working for one of the top cancer institutions in the country. I was elated to find a home on M7, a bone marrow transplant floor at Memorial Sloan Kettering.
The nurses on the floor are intelligent, caring, motivated and passionate about the care they give. When we were told the battle against the COVID-19 pandemic would start on our floor, the fear and dread began to set in.
Most of us are new to nursing and we're just learning how to be transplant nurses. Now we were faced with fighting this emerging and terrifying virus. Yet the support we received was unbelievable.
Staff members from all over the regional sites, and other floors came to help us in the battle against COVID-19. We were all terrified and unsure of ourselves, but every time we stepped into the room those fears were pushed back because of our sense of purpose.
It was time to do what we love to do: help those in need.
The difficult part of this was the alienation experienced as many patients lost their lives, often alone away from their loved ones. In those final moments, despite the risk of infection, multiple staff members including myself would hold the hands of the patient.
We’d whisper in their ears that they were not alone, that it was okay to be scared, and that we wouldn't leave them. The emotional and heart-wrenching pain they felt in those final moments were dispelled by the care and love the M7 nurses provided for these patients.
Every patient that fought this virus and succeeded in defeating it was clapped and cheered as they left our floor. Why? Because they gave us hope. Despite all the death and fear, something amazing came out of it: resilience.
This kept us coming back every day, because we knew that we were needed. Even as our co-workers fell ill, we still continued on fighting the battle. The support from the community was as unrelenting as the battle going on in the hospital.
The donations of food from different restaurants, products from different companies, masks and protective gear, and strangers’ shows of support showed us the humanity and love amidst this chaotic time.
The community showed that this is a shared experience. Shared losses. Shared fears. Shared determination, and shared hope.
Three months were long and challenging but the bond created with our staff members was something I will never forget. We cried together, laughed together, broke down together, and survived together.
We defeated the virus on our floor, and with it the fear and dread we’d felt at every single moment from the time we knew that the coronavirus had infiltrated our floor. The war is far from over, but the heroes on M7 are ready and preparing for another fight when it comes.
I want this story to be shared because I know at the moment many are still in the middle of this fight. Perhaps they feel as if it will never end, and are unsure of themselves. I want them to know it is okay to be scared. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to feel defeated.
All of this was felt throughout our journey, No journey is easy. Every obstacle, every bump on the road is painful. But at last we reached our destination.
Hang in there. The world sees what you do. We know what you do that the world doesn't see. The strength and resilience in your hands will overcome this enemy.
We're in this together. Stay strong, and thank you for all you do!
Hakeem Shoola, RN, NYC